As I sit here at my dining room table having just finished a therapy session and post-session journaling, I’ve been thinking about a Rumi poem my therapist mentioned to me, Chickpea to Cook, and decided that I want to share it with you. My being ‘in therapy’ is something I will be talking more about on my YouTube channel when I’m ready, but for now just know that I’m ok, I’m on a journey, a tough journey at times, but a rewarding journey of the self that I’m am proud to be ready for.
There are many translations for Rumi’s words, but this one of Chickpea to Cook by Rumi stood out for me, it made sense and in a such a short poem speaks of so many lessons we can learn. The main one for me that ‘boiling’ can be quickly noted as a negative, but what about the outcome of the boiling, going through the tough to find the good? The journey.
Chickpea to Cook
Rumi – Translated by Coleman Barks
A chickpea leaps almost over the rim of the pot
where it’s being boiled.
‘Why are you doing this to me?’
The cook knocks him down with the ladle.
‘Don’t you try to jump out.
You think I’m torturing you.
I’m giving you flavor,
so you can mix with spices and rice
and be the lovely vitality of a human being.
Remember when you drank rain in the garden.
That was for this.’
Grace first. Sexual pleasure,
then a boiling new life begins,
and the Friend has something good to eat.
Eventually the chickpea will say to the cook,
‘Boil me some more.
Hit me with the skimming spoon.
I can’t do this by myself.
I’m like an elephant that dreams of gardens
back in Hindustan and doesn’t pay attention
to his driver. You’re my cook, my driver,
my way into existence. I love your cooking.’
The cook says,
‘I was once like you,
fresh from the ground. Then I boiled in time,
and boiled in the body, two fierce boilings.
My animal soul grew powerful.
I controlled it with practices,
and boiled some more, and boiled
once beyond that,
and became your teacher.’
So not my usual blog post for you all, but this is where I’m at right now. I’m journaling, I’m thinking, I’m being curious, I’m asking myself questions and lastly (and most importantly) I’m making time to connect with my inner child, my spiritual self.
Many of you might read this post and think I’ve lost the plot! Haha. I’ll forgive you for thinking that. I’m just being me right now, raw feelings and emotions tapped into a laptop for you all to see.
When I started this blogging journey, never did I think I’d be writing a post like this, but amongst the fitness travel, the yoga poses, the recipes and motivational tips, you’ll be finding more and more like this. My love of keeping fit and healthy has evolved so much over the years. Yes, I want to look great, but more importantly I want to FEEL great, from the inside out. Right now, I feel pretty damn good and that’s after an hour of tears and tough inner work. Was it worth? Yes. Will I keep travelling this journey? Yes.
Love, Cat x